I've been dealing with some health issues for much of the last two years. Recently, there was a complication that will require correction by surgery. The outpouring of support for me has been tremendous, as usual. But by no means do I take it for granted as, again, I feel extremely fortunate and blessed. Just this past week alone has given me much to reflect on with regard to friendship.
I spent this past Tuesday evening with two old but extremely close friends I hadn't seen in a long time. They are lovers who have been together forever, it seems like. He works in asset management up in Pasadena, and She is a receptionist at a local silk screening place. All we did was have pizza & beer together and then watch a little TV, and yet so much more took place. As I've written before, sharing a meal (being at table) with loved ones is a sacred thing, no matter how informal. I'm an emotional guy, and I already know that I will grow more emotional when I near my surgery date, which will then be the time to exchange affection & loving words. What I needed that Tuesday night was simply to talk and to relax, something easy to do when laughter is the favorite past time of this couple & I.
Wednesday and Thursday of last week took me way back, all the way to memories of the elementary school days. On Wednesday, two friends (who are both brothers of the guy I went to school with) and their mom, as well as another young lady & friend to us all, stopped by to talk and reminisce. The guys and I looked forward, discussing things like musical inspiration, college majors, and life philosophy. They reminded me of me: bright and positive, looking at the good. It was a boost I needed at exactly that time. "Smile, we are alive," one great friend said.
Thursday was another trip in the Wayback Machine, as I saw another beautiful friend who also went to grade school with me. She and I had not seen each other in five years, by my count. When she arrived, my mom attended to the door telling me that some gorgeous woman was approaching. My mom was certainly right, yet at the same time the beauty I refer to came from finding myself on the same wavelength with this other wonderful person. And, quite truthfully, the two of us had not really had a meaningful conversation since the end of grade school. Remarkable. We spoke of many things: freedom and goals and expressing love and overcoming adversity. Surprise, surprise, more philosophy with me.
The next few days saw visits from my godfather and aunt, a married couple I knew from my SC years, and my brother, sister-in-law, niece & nephew. They were all similarly simple and yet meaningful. My aunt and godfather have always made me feel so comfortable with my own maturity, which has come from my individual life experience. Without fail, my godfather finds the time to get my take on things, adult to adult. I always find myself up late talking and talking with that particular married couple from college, and I always love it. They're so at home with me. That brings me comfort. At last, I closed the weekend gathered with my niece & nephew and their parents and grandparents, singing Irish folk songs together.
When I think about friendship and friends, I make a significant distinction between those things and acquaintances. My friends are people I deeply love. One major aspect of friendship that strikes me is the form of love it takes. Friendship is unbound love.
Love between friends comes with no built-in barrier. People may place limits, but only by choice. To me, this is the greatest advantage the love of friendship has. Individuals unrelated by blood can become family through it, and this has happened many times over for me. I have a few sisters, and many brothers, thanks to my realization regarding unbound love. When appropriate, younger & older generations can become equals through friendship. I believe one form of this is children aging and then beginning to assume caretaker roles for their parents. Lastly, this definition of friendship can allow friends refraining from any sort of limit to become lovers. Especially strong romantic love is born out of the unbound love of friendship.
These are just some of my inspirations on friendship from this past week.
