Decisions Decisions

I have a hard time making decisions. Then again, I don't. I struggled with deciding how to go about this very blog entry. I know that, currently, I'm very confident in myself, and when I'm certain instinctively that I'm making the right choice, I feel as if I almost made the choice before I even knew about it. So, it really isn't about the decision itself. The problem is that I'm so analytical. I consider that a strength, and I'm proud of it, and I think it's a huge contributor to my work. However, it makes decision-making difficult at times. I go about it by collecting pieces of information about the various potential choices until one of them tips the scales. That way, I feel like I can't not make that choice. But then I start analyzing the analysis and I end up not being able to decide if that particular piece of information does, in fact, tip the scales.

Dilemmas are easy for me. A dilemma is a choice between two outcomes, neither of which will be very positive for the chooser. Ultimately, one choice is slightly less bad, or less painful, or has a greater potential for "going down in a blaze of glory" and it presents itself quite quickly if I can quiet my mind long enough. The choice between two good outcomes is considerably more difficult. I always end up wanting to try out both of them, even if that consists of going with Door #1 for five seconds and then changing my mind to Door #2. I'll always wonder, though, if I'm having as good a time as I could have. The real decisions, of course, are the toughest.

I'm confident enough in myself today to know that I can make snap decisions if I'm pressed. And maybe it makes me a better decision-maker to be able to see all sides and to know that the choice I'm making is difficult. Would it be worse to make a grave decision quickly without knowing its gravity?

This is where being so self-analytical comes in handy. I'm always thinking about my position in life: where I came from, where I am, and where I'm going. After I collect all the information and mentally play out the scenarios in my head, I ask myself one, last important question. Will I be better, worse, or the same if I do this? I do it if the answer is better, I don't if the answer is worse, and if the answer is the same, I ask one, last not-so-important question.

Will this be a pain in the ass or not?