Maasai Warriors

Since April, I've been corresponding with a man named Ezekiel Noah Moirana. He is my age, about three years older. He is from Tanzania. We were put in touch by my doctor, Kimberly Shriner. She specializes in infectious diseases and is the one responsible for keeping me bug free over two years of wound care. I would not be healed today without her. In 1996, Dr. Shriner founded the Phil Simon Clinic, a premier nonprofit, multidisciplinary HIV/AIDS facility & organization operating out of Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena. In addition to the incredibly comprehensive service the clinic provides to the San Gabriel Valley, there is also the Tanzania Project. This is a small, but effective, community-based approach to bringing the same kind of service to East Africa, where it is desperately needed. Each year, the Phil Simon group tends to Tanzania with the care, attention, and skilled medical background that the group possesses.

Kimberly and Ezekiel met, somewhat fortuitously, several years ago. She and all the Tanzania Project people were so impressed with him, with what he's all about, that the Phil Simon Clinic took on another goal: to help Ezekiel earn his medical degree. It's not an exaggeration to say that Ezekiel is an amazing person. His goal is to help make things better for his country, and he says that the best way for him to do that is through medicine, and I could not agree more. He told me that the ratio of doctors to patients in his country is 1 to 26,000. So, he feels an enormous duty to set an example and show other people that love and a desire to help others should be our priority. He is a warm, gentle, and yet strong person. I recall how he touched my arm with both hands when he said hello. He has a way of embracing each person strongly in a greeting without smothering. That is his way in all things. He talked to me about treating people with an affliction like HIV or even some kind of addiction. He pointed out that these persons are not just bodies filled with symptoms, and that we are, all of us, not any better or worse than these persons. Don't treat them with anger or contempt, or pity. Look them in the eye, and interact with them, person to person. The Phil Simon Clinic donors funded Ezekiel's education in medicine. I believe that he is now one year away from his residency.

He and I communicated through e-mail for about six months. Although our words were sometimes confused, we spoke the same language. This past October, Ezekiel came to the states for a month with another doctor, Dr. Palapala, to gain invaluable experience learning and working at the Huntington. It was near the end of this time that we were able to finally meet and visit. We had a nice, long conversation in the afternoon on October 26. It was a very special time, and that is when he gave me a very special gift. Ezekiel is a member of the Maasai, a tribe whose name is not usually recognized in America but its distinctive bright red clothing is. Ezekiel is also a morani, or warrior. He presented me with a morani shuka, a sheet used for clothing. He made me a Maasai Warrior, telling everyone that, "Jonathan is a warrior." Later, he came back on Halloween to see me one last time before he returned home to his wife Jessica, his daughter Nancy, and his newborn son Collin. He said that he would not say goodbye, only "see you later," and that he would be back next year.

I'm really still processing everything that happened in Ezekiel's visits. He's not much of a small talker as it is, even though we spent some time on American football. These were quite momentous visits, the kind where you give each other the Cliff's Notes of your lives. Ezekiel and I are certainly very similar, so we were able to easily talk about things like the ways of the world, the meaning of life, how you should best perceive society, and how you could impact it. Ezekiel is the kind of guy where, when he looks you in the eye and says something, you believe absolutely that he is telling the truth and that he will accomplish what he sets out to do. He could tell you he was going to swan dive Niagara Falls and you'd be at the shoreline with a towel for him. So, when he talked about his goal to help his fellow Tanzanians, especially by turning the tide against HIV, I had no doubt. When he said he hoped to one day talk to Hashim Thabeet, the 7'3" NBA rookie from Tanzania, about donating money to the cause, I believed unequivocally that he would follow that up and get to Thabeet on sheer will alone if he had to.

Ezekiel taught me some extremely important things. He taught me that kindred spirits are real. He taught me that a soulmate does not have to be tied to a romantic connection. That two men, from most different backgrounds & circumstances, living on near opposite sides of the world, with no blood relation and never having met before in person, can be brothers. Think about that. I mean it. Brothers. That's remarkable. For me, that realization changed some of my perceptions and strengthened some others. He taught me about love. Here, we are so used to trying to redirect those overwhelming feelings of love & desires to share our hearts from the relationships that do not involve sex or romance to the ones that do.

For Ezekiel, he is so much more open and giving and free with his love to all. I'm certain that he loves his wife Jessica dearly and I'm certain that they have an incredible bond. But Ezekiel doesn't let that stop him from also sharing his heart with others. He also listens to his heart, with surprising clarity considering how intelligent he is. My experience with brilliant people is that they are sometimes up in their own heads too much. It only took a couple of minutes in my house for Ezekiel to feel in his heart that my parents are special people and that we have a happy home. So, Ezekiel has taught me to trust my instincts more. He taught me about hope. Because he has so much wisdom, when he says to always have hope, no matter what, that's something you take to heart.

Ezekiel seems so full of his emotions and his life and yet simultaneously not at all controlled or dominated by his emotions or his own concern for his life. He has a fullness to him without any trace of excess. No hurry, no stress. No pressure. In speech or deed. Everything he did was slow and calm and measured. It seems like he wants to genuinely do everything with the utmost honesty & concentration. He would tell a story and maintain eye contact the whole way, but I never felt like he was staring at me. He would say a phrase or sentence and then pause and let it sink in, without the silence being uncomfortable or without him making a noise like, "um," to fill it in. Then, he would continue. It took me a few times to figure this out and not feel like he was waiting for me to break in. He just has such a deliberate way about him, and again, without being boring or something like that.

What I haven't been able to figure out is how someone like Ezekiel can get as much done, and actually more so, while also having that calm & mellow demeanor and way of going through life. Honestly, they must have 30 hour days in Tanzania. I don't know why, but the phrase I keep coming back to for describing him and his people is to say that the Maasai are people of the earth. Ezekiel was born in a mud hut in Arusha, one of the most-used base towns for African safaris. I think there is something to that, that closeness with the natural world. Obviously, there are things that need to change in Tanzania. There are ways of ours that the Tanzanians need. However, it gives me pause to think about the external factors Ezekiel faced growing up, as well as my own. Although I know that Ezekiel & I both feel like we're simply living the way were supposed to live, I can take a step back and see that we are probably special people. So, it gives me pause to think about changing anything that helps to shape people like that. There's something to be said about struggling through adversity and living "closer to the ground."

He talked about what I have called: maximizing the experience, which is learning from every situation, every experience. He said that he thought you could find the good in every person and learn from it, and accept that we all have the bad but you don't have to put the emphasis on it. Continuing with the natural world thing, he also talked about learning from the animals. One of his goals, I believe, is to learn from everything and put it into practice. He wants to help people and get others to help as well, but he doesn't think you can tell people to do these things. He is all about learning & acting, and being the example. If people change themselves and become a part of the solution, great, if not, then we will just keep on going.

Another thing that Ezekiel showed me was what it is to interact with another person and gain knowledge in doing so. He talked about how, when I meet you, I am now connected to you so that your special qualities are now mine and my special qualities are now yours. So, too, are your problems mine and my problems yours. In this way, we strengthen each other. Perhaps something that makes you special can help me with my problem, and vice versa. As Ezekiel pointed out, he is a doctor and I need medical care, while I am a writer and he needs someone who believes what he believes and can conceptualize it more succinctly. It is simply a matter of connecting with each person and finding how we each strengthen each other. Here again, Ezekiel teaches me a way to reconcile individualism with communalism, just as he can maintain eye contact without staring or be my kindred spirit without it feeling weird. That is one large reason why he is remarkable. He is not about division. He is about union.

Ezekiel is the closest thing to being Heaven sent that I've ever experienced. And I know that that's putting a lot on him, but I also know that he has a similar feeling about me. He told me that, at first, he thought maybe I was told what to write to him in my e-mails because my beliefs & feelings were so close to the beliefs he has and the way he sees the world. I went back and read a couple and realized that most of the things I expressed to him, I came to feel strongly about well before I had even met Dr. Shriner, let alone heard of Ezekiel. It is interesting to me that my name means "gift of God," while his name means "God strengthens." I am not someone who reads into coincidence or leaves his faith up to the happenings of events & institutions, but there is such a synergy in everything to do with Ezekiel that I can't deny that it's a real God-strengthening experience for me. Without any notion that I'm forgoing reason or logic, there's true happiness there, a feeling that it's right.

Fit In, Standout!

Everybody is somebody. Nobody is nobody.
-- Taj Mahal

I was listening to a greatest hits album of Taj Mahal's and this line from his song, called "Everybody Is Somebody," got me thinking. This statement is true whether a person makes use of what it means or not. Being somebody is based on potential. We all have this ability inside even though many people choose, or are encouraged, not to achieve Somebody status. It's all about individuality.

Psychologically, we tend towards classifying things. Because of the way we fit into nature, physically, it is advantageous to do so. We need to be able to quickly and instinctually identify everything we encounter. Where is danger... where is safety... what hurts... what feels good... who can I trust... who is a threat... how does this work? We do this by classifying. In this way, no, each special snowflake is not unique. Making those snap decisions is integral for survival, but it's not too hot when it comes to interpersonal relationships, on whatever scale they occur.

People are much more complex than the systems that make up their bodies. There are often huge differences between two seemingly similar individuals, and there are always slight variations. Even small genetic or environmental factors can drastically affect a person's development. And every person has had all manner of experiences that could show the reasons behind their choices. The interesting thing is that the ways in which everybody is similar help to explain why appreciating their individuality is so important. The key way is that each person possesses free will. Excluding obvious exceptions, everyone chooses freely what they believe and what they do. Yes, there are genetic traits and environmental stresses and encouragement or discouragement from other people. In the end, however, those are merely explanations for why a choice is made. They are not determinants.

It's easier to go with the natural tendency, simplify things, and classify individuals into groups. Indeed, it's so easy that a vast number of people live their lives doing just that. I just did it, myself! The problem is that it leads to a group mentality, both inwardly and outwardly. Ironically, if we stop appreciating our differences on a personal level and de-emphasize the individual, we end up promoting groupthink within and group judgment without. The focus, socially, then becomes our communal differences which tend to be more divisive and inflammatory.

Another bit of irony, here, comes when our society takes individuality to its unhealthy extreme: exalting celebrity. When I write of this, I don't mean the typical People Magazine "What's My Favorite Actor Up To?" articles that women love (there's some more classifying for you). Exalting celebrity means first poring over the minutia of the life of a famous person. It's the worst kind of vicarious living. Then, it means placing an undeserved importance on the words and deeds of all famous people. There is a clear distinction to be made between appreciating the qualities of an individual and placing them on a pedestal. Exalting celebrity is as bad, or worse, than a group mentality because it says essentially that nobody is somebody except for a select, illogical few.

There is clearly a happy medium between groupthink and undue individual glorification. I know I have to catch myself occasionally and remember that the people I see and hear are their own people, when it comes down to it. There are several portions of society today that could also stand to do that, inwardly and outwardly. I also realize that emphasizing individuality has its own drawbacks. It's always important to check that ego upstairs. I don't think I have all the answers, but I do believe that it's a good start to stop viewing identity based on how a person looks or where their ancestors lived. Each individual I know has a lot more in common with me than either of us does with our ancestors. Of course, many people already know this, but you know what they say about assumptions.